The Importance of Friendship

There’s no solid definition of what friends are. Friends can mean many different things to you. They keep you company and help you grow. They’re the people you can count on and have close, valuable relationships with. You will make friends throughout the many stages of your life-- childhood, adolescence, adulthood and even after you retire.

To me, friends are the greatest ways to expose yourself to the world. I would say we spend a lot of time with the people in our social circle, whether it’s classmates or coworkers. Friends have always been the greatest influence on us. People come from all walks of life, have experienced different things to you, and see the world differently. Everyone has their story to tell, and when you take the time to listen, you may be inspired, or feel deeply connected to them over an experience.

Some friends might have so much in common with you that you feel like you’re long lost twins, while others are complete polar opposites, yet, you still get along. Both types of friends are important in your growth. You can talk about all the things you have in common with friends like you, find your emotions on something validated and shared. While the latter can introduce you to new hobbies and take you out of your comfort zone.

The influence friends have on us is often overlooked, but as the saying goes, friends are your chosen family. And there is a reason why they’re chosen.

We as humans are social beings. It is in our nature to seek company. Even though some of us might say that we don’t necessarily need social interactions, Zlatin Ivanov, a New York based psychiatrist, says that being isolated can have a big impact on our health. He says, “All our systems, including social, psychological and biological, have developed around social groups and interaction with one another. Social isolation in most cases would bring the negative effects of loneliness, anxiety, and sometimes depression.”

Friends give us a boost. It can be hard to talk to family about personal issues, so having trustworthy friends you can regularly open up to is very important. When you release those bottled up emotions, you’re lifting the weight off of your chest. Your friend is also likely give you advice, encouragement and support to deal with the situation, which in turn will help you encounter and face this situation head on. In a medical standpoint, you lower your body’s stress levels, which lowers the risks for health conditions like heart disease, obesity and depression. Having friends you can rely on, even if it’s just one person, can boost your self esteem and improve your confidence. And, subsequently, you build a stronger bond with the person.

Friends also improve your lifestyle. I remember the beginning of the biggest lifestyle change in my life. I had friends going in the same direction as me. We shared our ideas, our plans and gave each other advice. Their optimism and never ending support motivated me to push through the hard times, such as when I couldn’t see results of my hard work yet. When I reached a milestone, they cheered for me. In return, when they reached a milestone, I cheered for them. We opened up about our struggles on this journey, and found ourselves having one more thing in common. I confided in them, I knew they would understand what I went through.

A healthy friendship will benefit both parties. By spending time with friends, we are given and can give a shoulder to lean on, a helping hand, and an ear to listen to each other’s problems. We give each other advice and put things into perspective.

Nonetheless, some friends may do more harm than good.

Just like how a good friend can have a positive impact on your wellbeing, a bad friend would have a similarly detrimental effect. A toxic friend may cause you to revert back to or pick up bad habits, such as smoking, drinking or substance abuse. We are likely to pick up other people’s lifestyles and mimic their behaviours. UCLA’s study of 122 healthy adults found that those with negative social experiences had a higher chance of depression, heart disease and diabetes.

Toxic friends will poison you with their negative energy. One trait of a toxic friend is the lack of sympathy. They are indifferent to your feelings, gaslighting you or telling lies instead of owning up to their mistakes, they’ll flip the script on you and make you out to be the bad guy.

Toxic people are also insecure. So, to boost their ego, they will put others down and garner as much attention to themselves as possible. They will belittle you and turn conversations around to be about themselves.

When you find that a person brings you more pain than joy, it is likely that your relationships have gone south. In these situations, it is important to cut off these relationships for your own good.

It is not only important to find the right group of friends, but to maintain healthy relationships with them too. Many people find it hard to maintain friendships or make new friends when entering a new stage in their life, especially when more important things such as work and family may seem to outweigh your social life.

But even if you can’t keep in contact with your old friends, there are many overlooked opportunities to make new friends, whether it be in your workplace, social gatherings or community events. Take the initiative to meet new people. Broaden your efforts, because the more people you meet, the more chances you have to make new friends.

In the words of Albert Schweitzer, “In everyone’s life, at some point, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” So maybe your inner fire has gone out, or maybe the people who used to spark your fire aren’t here anymore. But, when you go out of your way to click with another human being again, you’ll be reigniting the burnt out fire in both of you.