Best of Both Worlds

Bisexuality, in the simplest of terms, is an attraction to two or more genders. This includes both cisgender females and male, as well as transgender, non-binary, genderfluid people. Commonly confused with pansexuality, the difference lies in that while pansexuality refers to attraction to all genders, bisexuality only requires attraction to at least two genders, not all. As most people can gather, it stands for the “B” in LGBTQ+ and bisexuals make up an astounding 40% of the LGBTQ+ population, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.

That being said, there’s a lot of common stigma surrounding bisexuality. Common stereotypes you might hear regarding bisexuals are that they are more likely to be “cheaters”, “fickle” or “unable to make up their minds”. Stereotypes like these can be extremely harmful and may deter people from finding the label they’re comfortable with. Stereotypes like these could also give bisexuality a bad image, which could lead to further ridicule or scrutiny.

Many of these stereotypes can be debunked quite easily. The most common stereotype is that bisexual people are more likely to cheat in a relationship due to their attraction to two or more genders. However, there is no difference in dating a bisexual person compared to, say, people who are only attracted to one gender, such as straight or gay people. In fact, research has shown that many bisexuals are able to retain long-term monogamous relationships.

However, findings do show that bisexual people are on average more likely to consider having consensual polygamous or non-monogamous relationships, which is a concept which is slowly becoming more well known as inclusivity pushes forward. The idea of monogamy is a long taught social value, but polygamy and non-monogamous relationships have been increasing in popularity. After all, heterosexuality was considered to be the norm, but the LGBTQ+ population has since made leaps and bounds in promoting inclusivity and equality. Why shouldn’t the same be true for monogamy? Healthy non-monogamous relationships with consensual parties might just be the next change in relationships in the future, who knows?

Returning to the topic of bisexuality, another harmful stereotype is that they can’t “make up their mind”. If a person is comfortable with labeling themselves as bisexual, then in a way, they already have made up their mind. Alternatively, for those still questioning their sexuality, they could feel more comfortable with simply calling themselves queer of questioning if the topic is brought up. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to more than one gender as long as they are with (a) consensual partner(s) and discuss the boundaries of their relationships with each other.

Perhaps the worst insult of them all is being labelled as “straight-passing”. This is a term often used to refer to refers to bisexual or pansexual people as they are generally attracted to the other sex (given that they are cisgender) and therefore can “pass” as heterosexual. “Straight-passing” could actually be a blessing in disguise for some people, especially for those who come from a more conservative background or cannot come out. Only 28% of bisexuals are out to their family and friends, in comparison to 71% of lesbians and 77% of gays.

However, for individuals that are out or open about their bisexuality, being called “straight-passing” is deemed as bi-erasure or biphobia, as it invalidates a bisexual’s attraction to the opposite gender. Bisexuals have been referred to as “straight-passing” even by parts of the LGBTQ+ community. To insinuate that a bisexual person is heterosexual erases their sexual and romantic identity and disrespects the label they feel comfortable with, as bisexual people are not straight. Bisexuals have previously received scorn from homosexual people who believe that bisexuality is a way to claim to be in the LGBTQ+ community without any ‘real repercussions’. So yes, even certain parts of the LGBTQ+ community still have ways to go in terms of accepting bisexuality.

Biphobia has real repercussions. Out of the LGBTQ+ demographic, bisexual women have been shown to have the highest depression rates, followed by bisexual men and bisexual people of other genders. Further, bisexual people the highest rate of sexual violence, with 61% of bisexual women experiencing sexual abuse from an intimate or romantic partner. Faced with these statistics, the stark reality that bisexuality is not actually a free “get out of jail” card, but instead one of the most unfortunate demographics in the LGBTQ+ community.

So what can you do? Take a step back and reevaluate your interactions with others. No, your jokes about bisexual people “doubling up” aren’t funny and can be offensive to people in monogamous relationships. Try to be more open-minded and careful with what you say. Biphobia is a long-seated problem that even the LGBTQ+ community has been struggling with. We can only hope that bisexuality, in the long fight for inclusivity and equality for the LGBTQ+ community, will be fully accepted one day.